Tear Stained Dirt
by NeonLit
Summary: Hinata is forced to deal with the loss of her husband, Naruto Uzumaki in the aftermath of an assasination. Heavy angst, NaruHina, ShikaTema and SasuSaku, set 8 years post chapter 700.


It'd been so many years of peace that Uzumaki Hinata had forgotten what it's like to see a funeral procession for the death of a shinobi in battle. The last one was many years ago now, her own cousin Neji's, and even that was painful enough for her to remember. The dripping rain had broken her heart and even the warming comfort from Naruto had barely been able to keep her steady. Even then, she'd never found herself so wracked with grief that she was barely able to feel anything.

However, the funeral today was determined to hit her even harder than that of her beloved cousin. Her only love had fallen in an underhanded, cowardly attack to a faceless group so far from the village that he'd loved as long as breath had been in his lungs. Naruto had decided to venture to the outskirts of the elemental nations with Shikamaru, chasing rumours of hidden clans and villages, with the hope of integrating them into the peaceful society they had helped mould. Many had called him crazy, insisting there was nothing outside the elemental nations, merely barren lands that were completely uninhabitable.

Of course, even in his role as Hokage, Naruto hadn't been able to give up on the chance to look into the rumours. Despite how much he'd grown up, he'd still retained his smile, his playfulness, his love for life. Even reminiscing on it now brought a tear to the lady's quivering amethyst eyes. Years of his voice echoed through her mind, that beautiful man who'd she'd loved and would continue to love. Some of the elder's had insisted that the Hokage was making a mistake going himself, that he should send an envoy in his place, but he'd insisted that he go, that "It would look better if I go." She could barely stand the fact that she hadn't begged him more, hadn't dug her heels in and begged him to stay. Ever since he'd told her that he'd be going away, she'd had a brooding feeling of worry deep in her body and it hadn't gone away, only further intensifying till the day that she'd been told the news.

Gently, she wiped the tears away. She needed to stay strong for her children despite the aching in her heart, even when she just wanted to tell them that things might not be okay. It hurt her so much to see the tears streaming down the face of Himawari, and the look of stoic anger brewing on Boruto's face. A face so much like his fathers, yet so different in so many ways. And worst of all, the six year old in her arms who was barely able to comprehend what was happening, only that her father would not be coming home this time. Mina's white eyes roamed around the faces in the crowd, trying to understand why everyone was wearing black and why no one was really talking or smiling.

Again, Hinata found her mind was drawn back to the events that had led to the current misery, as if stuck on an express train to misery.

Upon their arrival on the outskirts of the nations, Naruto and Shikamaru, along with their ANBU escort had been greeted by a small group of well-dressed shinobi, who whilst cold, had welcomed them to their village. That night, they had celebrated with the villagers, having much to eat and drink with an agreement being settled between the villages to join the union. Hinata had forced herself to read through the logs of the only returning member of the party, trying desperately to understand what had gone so wrong. One thought had continuously run through her head the whole time whilst reading the volume; _why didn't they realise something was so wrong earlier?_

As they'd left the village the following morning, Shikamaru had complained to Naruto about being sluggish, something that wasn't necessarily all that out of the ordinary for him. So Naruto had shrugged it off as Shikamaru not being a morning person and they'd pushed on towards the next nation, making slow progress through the thick forests. It was noted by the surviving ANBU member that everyone was looking a little off-colour and acting a little differently compared to the brisk pace that had been set the previous days. Naruto's skin had apparently looked pallid and he'd had to keep stopping to catch his breath.

And then it had happened.

It took place roughly around midday. The ambush by the shinobi of the village was far too quick to the drugged reflexes of the group and Naruto had been the first to fall with a near silent arrow piercing his heart, quickly followed by one to the jugular. The tips were also laced with a paralytic poison causing him to fall hard and dislodge the arrow, letting him bleed freely. Shikamaru had fared a little better, managing to take out two of the opposing force before taking several arrows to the chest. One of the ANBU members was a vegetarian and had not participated in the feasting. She managed to quickly escape with the two men's bodies, barely evading the capture of the vicious forces. It could on be assumed that the others were also murdered by the ruthless villagers.

A small sob slipped past Hinata's lips.

Her one true love, the one person she'd always believed in had disappeared so quickly that she'd never even gotten to say goodbye. She'd wanted to grow old together, not to bare the weight of another death on her shoulders. Nothing like this.

Slowly, the procession arrived and Hinata, along with the children were seated next to Temari and the furiously sobbing Shikadai. His eyeliner has streaked so badly that it looks like he's smeared war-paint across his face, in the vein of his uncle. Hinata made brief eye contact with Temari, who had always had a cool, calm demeanour, which looked so close to breaking that she can barely take it. Reaching out, Hinata took Temari's hand and squeezed it tight in hers, and was rewarded with a small nod from the woman. Her façade was icy, very reminiscent of the first time they had met.

When everyone was finally seated, the funeral began, with various members of the village and other nations coming forwards to talk about the man that had changed the world. Gaara spoke at length about how much Naruto changed the world and how much of an impact he'd had upon him as a person. Halfway through the speech, he began to silently tear up halfway through the speech, his throat constricting and his dark rimmed eyes closing tightly. At that point Kankuro escorted him from the stage, giving his shoulder a tight reassuring squeeze. When Kakashi talked in a very calm, albeit it memorable speech, he reminisced on Naruto's early years as a shinobi, telling a few anecdotes from the early years before returning to his. Then, Lee tried to make a speech about youth, but was so completely wracked with grief that he said about three words and collapsed, breaking down into racking sobs. He was helped off stage by Tenten, who murmured something about how stupid he was, coaxing him back into his seat. Out of their friends, the two had suffered loss more often than anyone else, so to see Lee breaking down this badly made it clear that this was no ordinary funeral.

Then it was Hinata's turn and she sluggishly moved to her feet, the veil that was covering her eyes hiding the streaming tears. She was determined to do this, if not for herself, for the memory of her beloved husband. The speech started slowly, talking about her first encounters with Naruto as children, and his familiar arrogance, which brought a few smiles to the audience, finding levity through the grief. As the flow of her speech built up, she lamented about their early years as shinobi and how she'd watched him grow from a prankster into an overconfident teen, to a wise leader of men. The story flowed into the Invasion of Pain, the Kage summit, and the Shinobi war. Several pauses were made as the pain welled up inside her chest, but it didn't halt her progress as she built up into describing his ascent to the position of Hokage and his love for his children. She whispered about how he'd first told her about his love for her. She found her eyes focussing on the three children sitting in the front row, tears running down their adolescent faces, although Boruto was trying to hold it back with all of his might. The speech finished quietly, as she said her goodbye and swiftly moved off stage

As of the conclusion of her speech, nearly everyone was crying, be it young or old, male or female. Only one member of the audience seemed to be holding off his emotions. Sasuke Uchiha, the last speaker for Naruto. As they passed each other, his hand caressed her shoulder so quickly that she barely felt it and wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't heard his cloak flapping.

His speech was completely different from hers.

Sasuke spoke of bonds.

He spoke of friendship and ties.

And when he spoke of the best friend he'd ever had, the one who filled the hole left by the death of his family, his head started to droop, his long hair falling over and covering those dark eyes. By the end, his voice had dropped so quiet that the front row could barely hear him, the microphone struggling to pick up his words. He hand clenched at his chest, tightly scrunching his cloak, before he screamed out loud, and sank to his knees. In an instant, Sakura was on the stage, her arms around him and holding him close to her. As she whispered to him and kissed his face, Hinata found herself wishing in a detached way that it were her consoling Naruto at Sasuke's funeral instead, not the other way around.

The next round of speeches revolved around Shikamaru, and Temari made a short speech about how that bastard shouldn't have died, how he'd failed the one simple thing she asked him not to do. She went on to talk about how he'd always appeared to her as a bright light among the folly but now that was gone. Her speech cracked her voice and it ricocheted through the crowd, the mood dropping even further, as the podium crunched beneath her tight grip. The blonde woman kept a defiant expression on her face as she left the stage, crossing her arms even as a few solitary tears streaked down her face. Shikadai clenched onto her arm and she ruffled his hair statically. The sight made Hinata recall how Shikamaru had said that all he wanted was to have two children once and wondered why the two had never gotten around to having a second child. She supposed that she'd never know now.

When the coffins were lowered into the ground, the silence was deafening, everyone watching their beloved Hokage and his brilliant adviser finally being returned to the earth. The crowd dispersed quietly, with few words being said among the group, with a few solitary figures maintaining their vigil by the graveside. The mood was sombre and no one spoke, save for the quiet sobbing from some of the mourners.

Her children left with Sakura, and soon the only people left were Hinata, Temari and Sasuke, standing in front of their lovers and friend's grave, tears dripping onto the freshly upturned earth. Temari leaves after an hour, giving Hinata a small pat on her back. Sasuke and Hinata didn't talk, didn't even acknowledge the presence of each other, merely holding themselves together by the grave, before Sasuke finally left without so much as a 'goodbye'. The lack of presence breaks Hinata's mostly quiet composure and she collapses to her knees, crying, howling and screaming at the softly compacted earth. Her woes batter into the graveside, but nothing is given in return. There is no reply from the tear stained dirt as she continues to pound her fists into the soil.

The hours passed as Hinata quietly talked to herself, before she slumps forwards to the ground, her knees sinking further into the grooves they had dug. She didn't care that her face was smudged with mud, nor the fact that people could hear her tortured howls. Her cracked voice reminisced of the first times she had seen him, of when she saw him fight in the Chūnin exams, when she'd run to his side when Pain had been so verbally beating him down. So many memories from before they were in love and so many after, but she had to hold onto them. It was as if every passing second took her further away from it and she could hardly bear it. At some point in her frenzied ranting, she realised that it was raining, the water mixing with the mud created by her own tears. The woman was so numb that she could hardly feel the effects of the weather, merely hugging herself tighter.

The sun was starting to show its face before someone came to her side. Boruto. Before he could grab her and take her home, she pushed him off and looked at the ground once more. The wind ruffled her hair and her tear stained eyes hurt from the cold seeping into her. Her chapped lips opened and she spoke one small phrase with closed eyes.

"I'll always love you Naruto-kun." The words felt hollow as they drop from her lips, and she finally let her son lead her away.


End file.
